We are all familiar with the concept that if you want to change your life, you have to change the way you think.
On the surface, this seems like a simple and straight forward concept. Right?
Actually changing the way we think however is a bit more subtle and challenging. We all have ways to avoid change. We all employ devious and unconscious ways of avoiding making changes in the way we think.
Let me give you a very common example of what I’m talking about. It’s called the “yea but” response and it sounds like this…
- Wow, I think that’s a great idea “but”………..
- That is a wonderful concept and I’m sure it would be helpful “but”……….
- I have a friend that does that “but” she doesn’t have to worry about………..
What is important to recognize is that “yea but’ is nothing but an unconscious power struggle between your primitive ego, which does not like change, and the idea being considered. Your primitive ego is always looking for reasons why change is not a good idea, why it’s not possible, or why it wouldn’t work for you.
If the idea you are considering means you will have to change the way you think, which of course will lead to changes in the way you behave or function in the world, simply know that your primitive ego is going to kick on the auto-pilot and begin telling you why it’s a great idea “but” it won’t work. Be ready for the dialogue. Take notes if you have to, but don’t let the idea get away from you. Go ahead and implement it. Make it happen.
Once your primitive ego knows you’re serious about making the change, it will switch tactics and begin using “shinny objects” for example, to distract you. If it is a good idea write it down and implement it in your life so it becomes a habit.
One final thought, if you offer someone an idea that could be helpful for them and you get a “yea but” response……..don’t try to convince them they are wrong. You will simply be wasting your time and theirs. They will win the power struggle because the struggle is unconscious. They are unaware they are doing it, so using logic to help them change their minds is rarely helpful.
Simply drop the discussion. Over time they may begin to hear the wisdom in your idea but “you” can’t convince them….they have to see the wisdom for themselves.
Once you begin paying attention, you will hear others using the “yea but” response constantly. If you want to be happy and successful in life, learn to hear “yea but” when those words are coming out of your mouth.
“Yea but” will shut down your ability to grow—–faster than you can say the words.